Almost 20 years ago, I was shopping with my daughters when my doctor called me and said, “Sandra, I am really sorry to tell you this over the phone, but you have cancer.” I was stunned. Something was tapping me on the shoulder and giving me notice- -your life needs to change.
Going through cancer treatment and recovery gave me time to rethink my life. Thankfully, my cancer was treatable. However, two years later and after several marriage counseling sessions, my 20-year marriage ended. My life felt like a giant storm--alternating between calm seas and tsunami waters.
What gave me the courage to make this change? The realization that the pain of staying in the relationship was stronger than the fear of the unknown.
As I negotiated the end of my relationship, I read books to help me understand myself and to improve my communication style. I did not want my daughters to get caught up in the anger and hurt that divorce creates. I demonstrated to them that you can leave relationships with kindness and love. It wasn’t all rainbows and unicorns, mind you, but my intentions helped me make the shift.
I learned to have healthy boundaries, and I will admit, I learned through trial and error. I assumed full time parenting and grieved the loss of the life I had left. I started to deeply care for myself and to investigate what kind of future relationship I wanted to attract.
My daughters watched me grow and create new boundaries. The gift they received of witnessing my transformation taught them that no matter what, you have the right to leave relationships that are no longer serving you.
For over eighteen years I have been coaching women through many challenges but the theme that has prevailed is our inability to leave relationships that no longer serve us. Women tend to care for everyone else at the expense of their health and personal power. What is often lacking is a support system and the “how to” make that leap out of unfulfilling relationships. Which is where I come in!
When women work with me, they find their courage, connect with their self-worth, and create joyous, supportive relationships they dream of having. Why waste time when you can have it all?
P.S. I don’t teach anything I haven’t learned first-hand. I now have a lovely relationship that is reciprocal and mutually supportive.